i donte know whats wrong with me.
nth is wrong,really.
*found,no worries kay.
and i donte want to be an owl too!!!!LOL.
i will change kay! tml i early early msg you
and we will start to TALK!
its all willing FOR YOU.*

a friend told me about his dreams and vision.
and he questioned me whats mine.
my brain went black.
i didnt have one.
im not sure of any.
im not sure of what i can do.
im not sure of my capabilities.
im not sure that i can even make it through now.
sometimes,i feel that i cant do anything well.
or that i have nothing im exceptionally good at.
but everyone says that one will definitely have something
he or she is good at.
it just takes time to discover it.
but seriously,when?
now,im already in poly.
pursueing a course there.
im not even sure thats what i want to be now.
im not even sure whether i can excel.
im not even sure thats my dream.
sometimes i even felt that i might have chose the wrong path in life.
taken the wrong route.
.impluse.
yes,many of you have told me that.
the course that im in now,many fights to go in.
but seriously this doesnt mean that i have to be in right?
maybe,you wants to be in,and donte see why i donte see it this way bah.
but you know,everyone is diff.
its not that i dont like the course.
but i feel that maybe im just trying too hard to fit in the course.
i wonder if it suits me at all.
haii.
thanks so much to YOU.
thanks for talking to me.
and leading me the way to the light.
you never failed to make me feel better.
better in any and every way.
you must be sent to my life to open up the path to the light for me.
thanks.=D

hmm.yeah.just a sudden qns by a friend
can actually struck so much thoughts yea?
hmm.i will ponder upon it.

#theres a harvest time for every season. my harvest time is not yet ready.*

*crying for no apparent reason is dumb.UTTERLY.*

irritated.
disappointed.
shocked.
excited.
tired.
bored.
sad.

all this emotions were felt by me in a day.
but well,
currently im in a very irritated mood.
so please do not irritate me any further,
as i cant ensure that i will not flare up.
but to prevent from such cases,
i even go to the extend to appear offline.
cause i dont want to chat with ANYONE.
*i have no idea,but everyone seems to piss me off.
im sorry,im just pms-ing.*

okays,
went out with xy just now.
it was great talking to her.
heard some shocking stuff from her.
planned some exciting events.
hope it will work out.really.
you know,i cant wait anymore.
im sure its gona have fun.
if it doesnt work out,
im gna be sad.
oh yes,and we saw shikin.
woots.shes always so pretty.

anyway hope surprises wil turn out fine.

yeah,thats all.
donte feel like blogging.
and i even feel like closing it down.
FCUK.

bye.

22SEPT2006.

what a day.

*pissed!*

#1ST UNLUCKY INCIDENT!

ok,met up with yt,zm,ky,fiona at orchard today.
planned to go to wheelock,
and eat sakae buffet.
was suppose to meet them at 2?
well,i was late for 45 mins.
hmm.maybe thats the reputation for later.
hmm.got an urge to wear heels today,
so well,wore this damn long never wear de heels.
then guessed what?
when i was walking to wheelock,
i sense that something is wrong with my heels.
really.like its getting looser and looser.
so i thought that i call zm,
and ask for help,
cause i had an instinct that something will happen.
well,
JUST WHEN I WAS CROSSING THE ROAD,
IT SNAPPED!
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
woah,congrats me,pleaseeeee!
so i got to pick that bloody heels up and run across?
everyone was looking at me la.fcuking embarrassed.
nvm,then i could no longer walk,
so i just sat on the floor,in the middle of the place for people,
that leads to another traffic light to go across the streets.
i was like sitting in the middle of nowhere,
talking to my friends damn loudly,
cause i was bloody embarrass.
so they came and save me.
so yt and zm went to search for slippers for me,
awww,how sweet,they came back all sweaty.
thanks darlings,you saved me.
at the same time,fiona was with me,waiting for them to come back.
well,despite the situation,camwhoring started.LOL.
ok,then they bought this very nice stussy slipper for me,
which caused $19.90!!!
so i wasted the money for NOTHING.fcuked up.

#2ND UNLUCKY INCIDENT.

we were happily eating at sakae,
talking and laughing,
and this man came and STARED at us,
and said that we are very noisy,wth.
its a public place,
if you cant take the noise,im sorry.
and in fact, we are not the only ones making noise,
maybe he sat the nearest to us?
but you see his face,you will get damn irritated!
then there was this henderson students celebrating someone's birthday,
and ONCE AGAIN,
this WEIRD MAN,complained that they were noisy?!
HELLO,THEY ARE LIKE SINGING BIRTHDAY SONG?
ISNT IT NORMAL TO BE LOUD?WTF.
oh well,maybe no one are willing to sing him a song.
hes just jealous.
then the five of us started to be lame,
because he cant take noise,
so we assumed that,
he as no alarm clock,as its noisy,
no door bell,
handphone is always on silent mode,
tv always mute,
he whispers to the ants,
and etc etc.you can imagine how pissed we were.
then our mood got high again after all the assumptions of him!LOL.

#3RD UNLUCKY INCIDENT.

because of the bloody slipper,i donte have enuf cash,
so i hadnt paid zm back the money.
well,so i owed her $20 AT THE MOMENT.
was planning to eat finish first then go and draw and return her.
then guessed what?
we ask for bill,and zm realise shes only left with $10.
yt doesnt have enuff money,
he was planning to borrow from zm at first.
so the bill was $83.70,
well we only have like $80?
so embarrassing,
we thought we had to wash plates for them.
everyone at the counter looked at us,
cause we have no money,
then this motherly woman who looked damn fierce came to us.
they thought she was going to scold us,
but she didnt.
she asked if we really really had no money,
if its so,shes willing to pay the remaining $3.70 for us,
oh,how sweet and nice of her.
but of course we didnt accept her offer,
me and zm ran to draw money from the nearest atm,
while the rest waited for us there.
yeapped,then settled the bill.
the cashier was fcuking rude to us.
i mean we are really sorry,
but you dont have to be so bu shuang with us.
then,we moved on to take neoprints.
then met with with sx.
i made her wait for me for half an hour?
im sorry.=(

#4TH UNLUCKY INCIDENT.

was going to look for xt present which is suppose to be a wallet.
so went to heeren to look for wallet shop and realise its no longer there.
then walked to paragon,
hoping to get to the roxy shop,
was looking round the whole of paragon for like half an hour or an hour?
then realise its under renovation!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
wasted so much of our time!

#5TH UNLUCKY INCIDENT.

was happily going to ps to go to dorothy perkins.
so that i can buy my long wanted top.
went there.
its no longer being sold.or maybe out of stock.FCUK.
ok.then sx wanted to get a top at baleno.
well,its gone too!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
ok then i thought its alright,we should move on.

#6TH UNLUCKY INCIDENT.

walked past outfitter girls,
there was sale.
two tops for like $10??woots.
bought two for myself.
you must be wondering why i categorise this under unlucky?
because,sx wanted to get a top too,
so we have three tops.
hence we are short of one.
so sx was very nice,
she went to ask this GIRL near her that how many tops shes getting.
if shes short of one,
we could combine and buy together?
then you know what that girl replied,
huh?why dont you just buy one more.
with her like its so bloody cheap,why cant you buy face!
wah.damn bhb.we felt offended.
then sx decided not to buy anymore.
im so sorry.=(

#7TH UNLUCKY INCIDENT.

so there was the surfers shop at ps,
so we bought the shirts and head there!
guessed what!
its CLOSED!WTH.
im totally speechless about today la!
and you know what,the unluckyness hasnt ended.

#8TH UNLUCKY INCIDENT.

so i went home,
and i was like so sad,
but to confess to my mum about the slipper that cost $19.90.
and at first i thought she would PITY me that my heels snap.
and that she would felt grateful towards my friends who helped me.
WOW.she didnt.
she SCOLDED me BADLY.
she said that that bloody slipper that looked
like it only cost $5 cost so expensive.
and why did i actually go and buy it.
i was like please la,it was an emergency,
my friends where got time to shop for cheap ones and buy it for me,
when i was like so desperate for it,
while sitting on the road?
she kept on blaming my friend for being DUMB to buy the slipper la.
fcuk.iwasdamngratefulformyfriends.
so i felt very offended.
cause i told her its very nice of them to help me run around to look for slippers.
they came back sweating like mad.
whatever la.i felt so angry that i didnt want to talk to her.
she scolded me till i cry?
.w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r.
then i told her about the very cheap tops?
normally she would be very happy with me,
BUT I GUESSED ITS THE SLIPPER THAT CAUSED HER UNHAPPINESS.
so she started grumbling that i havent even tried earning money,
and im like spending money like water?
and money is not easily earned and so on and so forth.
im EARNING money ok.
at least i work during the hols,
and when i get my pay,i share it with her.
wth.i was so angry and pissed.
but i didnt want to react if not a fight would start again.
i dont want that.

haii.thats how my unlucky day end!
this is the kind of day that i will NEVER EVER FORGET.
fcuked up day.

but whatever it is.
i stil got to wish a friend happy birthday.




















-JEREMY SEOW ANG SIANG.
happy birthday!
ni you da yi sui ler.=D
hmm,what can i say,
although im not very very close to you,
but you are always there when i need you.
words of concerns always come from you.
a great friend.
a sweet one.
thanks for all that you have done.
you know what?
you have always been a blessing to the people around you.
and i really hope you will continue to be a blessing.
really.
continue to shine,at least for God?
and you know what?
if you dont xian qi wo,
im willing to be here for you too.really.
LASTLY THANKS FOR ALL THE HELP YOU HAVE GIVEN ME.
continue to soar on ARTS.you artist.
sheng ri kuai ler.
dreams do come true,really.
and well,hope we are not jinx towards each other,
i was so unlucky on YOUR birthday.='(
LOLLLLL.

oh yeah,fiona she let me down again,
once again.
i forsee it actually,
but i had some tinge of hope in me,
well,it never happened.
*disappointed*

okays.goodnight,
the unluckyness on me,
is draining out my energy.
nights!

*confidants are great treasures.*

woots.
woke up late today.
sorry qian,to make you wait for me.
hmm.met her at city hall AGAIN.
the same place as our first date.
woots.

she bought two bags.
identical.
but diff in size.
and shape?
but the same color.
which is white.
her fav.

woots.
saw alot of people.
saw dahalan.
saw mag and ah hao.
saw lai min hui.
saw han lin.
saw huda and bf.
and others i guess?
i cant remember.LOL

i cant believe dahalan is working at the place now.
it so does not suit him la.
anyway i know my schedule next week already.
sigh.wed,sat and sun.
im so sick of it.
or,i HATE it.
but its ok.at least i have income coming in.
and this means lesser going out time with friends.
but oh well,its ok three days.=D.
thats a blessing?!

ok,heard alot from her today.
quite shock and glad that she poured it out?
LOL.and im quite happy that she shared a SECRET with me.
and we are like grinning about it?
like whole day long.
*you know what yar?*
LOL.we get uber mega high here.=D.

woots.
meeting zm tml!=D
sakae here i come, AGAIN.
woots.
im getting real fat.
how to go tanning in bikini like that.=(
woots.

i cant wait to try ls's cookie like brownie.
no matter how is it,
i think im gona love it.
at least shes willing to save one for me.=D.
hmm,i really yearn for one day
where it will no longer be a one-sided love.
and im starting to love to call you already.=D
be prepared=D

ok goodnights.off to me dreamland.
i think im tired.
but somehow im not.

i dont wana be late tml!!!!=D
*fiona dont disappoint me*

*friends are the greatest treasures that i have*

im fine ler.really.
so my friends no worry.
just a thought sometimes.
maybe it lies with me?
yeah.thanks so much.
and continue to remain sweeeet.

*i really needed that 060906.thanks.u did ur part,and done the best

i know it.i feel it.and i thank you for it.mwahhs.*

woots.finally a new blogskin out of many years.?
LOL.anw,when i woke up today,
thoughts suddenly rushed through my head.
hmm.quite sad though.
i wonder.
i always feel that i really put in alot of effort
in friendships.
i feel that,i really cherished them
from the bottom of my heart.
really.
i always feel that im the only putting in effort.
im the only one contributing.
but i always feel that im always feeling hurt.
feeling lonely.
does this mean that my friends had not
given me a sense of security?
or that i dont feel treasured?
i dont know.
maybe.

its indeed that sometimes i dont feel treasured by my friends.
really.
but i know they do.
just that many of them do it in other ways.
or that they arent any that will show their affections.
or they arent good at it.
hmm.i dont blame them for that.
but at least show.
show that im important to you.
or you do really cherish me?
a simple sms to me would really mean alot to me already.
i dont know.

okok.stop getting all emo in here.LOL.
okaes.anyway yesterday went to tpy with ls
to support jiamin for superstar.
hmmm.ok well.she got out.
f*** the judges la.
they say her voice is good and so..
but her dressing and her being too tense..
caused her to didnt move much with the music.
but i didnt find any wrong in that.
i think she swayed a little..
and you seriously cant blame her for nervousness?
ALSO!dressing style can be changed what?!
sickening! haii.they are also many others that
their voice sucks.lousy dressing sense.
too tense.
they STILL got in.like wth.

haii.but its ok.its a lifetime experience.
she says she alright.
but i think shes not.
but i dont blame her.
its natural.
anyway.jiayou ok.
at least you know that there is nothing wrong in your voice.
and thats worth being happy?
LOLL.like as if she will see my post.LOL.
but yeah.wishes in my heart for you bah.=D

ok.thats all.bye.

*i wished to be cherished too,not by lovers,but by friends.*

and oh yes,im going swimming tml.
oh yes,i AM!
i must make sure im going!
please,let me have self-discipline!

oh yeah,
i forgot to blog about something quite some time ago.
i tried eating myself at tekka mall foodcourt.
actually its nothing much.
nobody is looking at you or what.
you are just eating.
so,its one of a kind experience because i cant stand eating MYSELF.
but its totally fine.
really.
yeah.thats all.
bye!

ah.supposed to wake up at 830?
end up waking up at 3?
LOL.i woke up at 9 for a while though.
found out that theres no need for us to go for interview though.
so went back to sleep!
sadly.=((.
fate has caused me to be going back to km8.
where my hols will just be filled with sad memories.AH.

ok.wanted to sleep more.
i was really tired.
but xy FORCED me to wake up!
to just go out with her!!!
hmm.but i have fun though.
LOL.she changed that pants into jumpers?
and i think its nice!although its the same one as sx!
LOL.so you both now have couple wear la!
excluding me?!HMPH!
im so jealous!

hmm.then shop a little.
decided that we should get newspaper to check out jobs.
LOL.and then decided that we should go home and bake some cookies and brownies.
so she bought cookies ingredients.
and i bought brownies.
and we both will bake different things!LOL.
had some co-operation going on there!=D.
im glad i had her though!
*stop saying im bad to you*
yeah.so heres some pics on our products!!

the cookie before its been made! this selfish xy only took hers.
while mine is already on its way to be ready made!=((

this NICE xy only bothered to take hers after her cookie is done making.
while mine has already been all cut into pieces!!! so patheticly,
and guilty her places mine in the middle!
oh how pathetic!

then we attempted to do cheese fries.
you know like KFC those type?
BUT WE FAILED!
THANKS AH,XY!
i told you,its not those kind of cheese la!LOL.
ok im not blaming you!no,im not!

thats the cheese fries that we tried making.
does it even look cheesy to you?!LOL.
thanks ah! xy!!!

hmm.then ws came to my house.
wrote down the numbers of jobs application.
then off they go.
and home mummy comes.
and guessed what!
she said my brownie sucks.
what the f***.
can you understand how i feel?
how much my effort was not appreciated.
to just keep that one piece for her!ahhhh!.
i swear im not going to make and leave any for her anymore.
im just going to eat it all up MYSELF.
yes,all by myself.

to my friends whom im giving the brownie to.
you guys better appreciate them.
dont make me sad.
and unappreciated.
i dont care how you going to force that smile on your face even though it sucks.
but you guys are just going to say that its nice!
and thats the deal.
or,there goes our friendship!
and oh yes,i meant it!

hmm.thats all for today.
and tml,more job interviews.
more,more and more.
we are going to lie.
i hate lying.oh yes,i do.
so i have never lied to anyone that i loved them ok.
except for xy.
im sorry for always lying!LOL.
alrights,im just kidding darling*chicken*
hahas.ok,happy day today!

woots.finally a date with ls!
ahh.oh how i missed her so.
oh yes,i do.
you better read this post i tell you.
and you will know,how the missing you plant bud has been growing in my heart.
i love you!!!!
and you BETTER say that the brownie is nice!!!!!
stop letting my one-sided love grow fonder of you!!!

oh yes,a promise to xy!
im a chicken.yes i am!='(
can you see that shes a bully now?
bad girl.

BYEBYE!

*being happy has always been a great thing!*

IM SORRY TO THOSE WHO IS READING MY BLOG NOW.
BUT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO FRUSFRATE MY ANGER.
BARE WITH ME!!

WHAT THE FUCK!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK!
KNN!! CCB!!! NBCB!!!!!
FUCK LA!
YOU THINK YOU GREAT AH!!!
THATS WHAT YOU THINK!
WHAT THE FUCK! GET LOST.
FUCK OFF!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCKER! FUCK!!!!
EVEN THE LOUD MUSIC I AM HEARING NOW.
CANT TURN YOUR VOICE OUT OF MY HEAD!
JUST GO AWAY.
I HATE MYSELF.
FUCK!

ok.im chilled.bye.

okok,sorry no cure.
i better update now.
or they will say that my blog is closing down!

tuesday:
intht paper yea.
ok lets not tok about it.
but i pretty embarrassed myself.=((
crying so badly after the exams end.
and so many people were crowding around me.
many curious looking eyes staring right at me.
oh my,how embarrass can that be??

after that,went to the lib to meet dearie to study.
hmm got pretty stressed up by microecons.
and started asking rubbish question to ls.
lol.im sorry qing ai de!LOLL.

wednesday:
hmm,oh well.
microecons wasnt as bad as what i have expected it to be.
hmm so well well.i think i can pass.
and thats all it matters to be.
btyz: isnt it?? we not like ls hor..
always hoping to get a A.LOLL.sorry.inside joke.

ok then again,as the routine goes on.
i went to meet sl at the lib to study.
hmm.i seriously have no idea what is rht talking about.!!!
studied till like 4am before getting to bed.

thursday:
the paper was bad!
very very very very bad.
its an easy paper though.
but i cant make it.
maybe because i never put in enough effort to study it.
and also 90 percent was i couldnt uds what i was studying.
so there goes the paper.
surprisingly i didnt cry.
maybe its because its the last paper.
didnt want to spoil the rest of my day.=D
but oh well,i guess i have to get ready
to say hi to the SUBPAPERS!

ok..went to bugis with bt and ls.
LOL.as usual we went to eat stuff like ice kacang.
the ICE MONSTER! hmm.and after that it was pouring outside.LOLL.
so we ran to bugis street.shop a little.
then bt gtg.='(
ls and i spotted this manicure shop!
it was bloody hell cheap!!
ten nails for $4.90 for nail art!!
woohoo.but somehow we were cheated.
well,im lazy to type them out.
ask us if you want to know.but i guess you dont.LOLL.
but oh well.we are lesbians.
we have the same nails.=D.
i love you darling!=))

then went to kbox at paradise.
before that.you can never know how DESPERATE we are to go to kbox!
HAHAHA.we called almost as many kbox as possible
to ask if they could have the ladies night session from 6pm to 3am.
cause the other time i went,was like this and only at the price of one cup of drink!!!
but then i called this time and they said it was only from 6pm to 9pm??
i was so sad! so i called every outlet to ask.
lol.then in the end,we didnt care and jus head to the paradiz one.
then they said its from 6pm to 11pm.
then we begged the woman to let us stay to 3am.
hmm.she say its possible.but she cant promise.
so we got to see if the person comes in and ask for the bill.
if she did, we cant.
hmm.in the end,she didnt.=))
yay!!but i can say that.it was my first time singing kbox,
sing until i want to cry can?!
lol.i practically have no voice and so is ls.
we almost DIED.or we are DEAD.
LOL.and we still insist to challenge those high pitch songs,
despite our voice could no longer sing any!!

hmm.anyway i got to say sorry to ls.
for scaring her badly at the kbox.
i really didnt meant to scare you.
it was just an accident.
believe me ok?!
sorry darling.i could see that you were really scared.=((

ok.then she came to my house to stay over!
ahh...so fun.
she loves my dog,thats all i could say.
LOLL.anyway it was fun.love to have my darlings staying overnight!
then can chat.=D.
all i can say is that.i love her.
ireallydo.
and its all my one-sided love.='(

hmm.then friday!
woots!
the day i have been waiting for.
haha.so as usual im late in meeting my fren.
im sorry xy!
ok,then went to shop at bugis street.
saw kc and people.
yeap.
then bought this very nice watch for mac.=D
then we went to marina south to have our gathering steamboat.
hmm.then as usual this sx is LATE!
and she never eat!
i HATE you!
yes.oh man..im really a compulsive eater!thats bad!
HAHA.xt you know what i mean!LOL.inside joke.

then went to esplanade to give mac the surprise!
we light up the candles along the fountain stairs.
and then form a heart by candles at the end of the pathway.
in the middle of the heart,
is the cake and the present.
so sweet right?
hope that she is really touched,
except for the fact that she already realise there is something fishy going on.
cause we ask her bf to cooperate with us.
by bringing her out.
and to go to esplanade and have a romantic time together.
then bring her to the candle place,
and freak her out.
but she realise.
so its not really a surprise afterall.
but oh well,i guess its sweet enough to make her a shock and be touched.
right??!
heres a pic of the heart made of candles.
sweet right?glad you like it!

THEN! I WENT TO EAT MORE AT MAKAN SUTRA!
im a compulsive eater.im sorry.='(
LOLL.ok,i felt really sinful.but its only once in a while,
despite the fact that im going for sakae buffet on monday!
ahh!!im a pig.im a pig!!!!HELP!
ok..so thats all for friday.

saturday:
slept all the way to 7pm.
lol.then rot at home and do nothing.and sleep again.
wasted a day.

sunday:
same routine as saturday.
wasted a day again.
so decided that i should blog.
and here i am now.
lol.

ok.thats all for the whole week.
hmm.tml im going to gather with cc and twinny.
woots.
cant wait.
its been years already.
we must take many many photos!!

i cant afford to be late tml.
or i will have to treat for the movie tickets.
i dont want man!!

ok.so goodnights people,i have to sleep early.
although i just wake up.=D
bye!

-xy:
can you stop being so unwilling?
and you are sucha timid pig!
LOL.ok la..kidding! dont angry la!
xiao qi leah!
LOL.

-thanks for taking your time to read the long post.

*hello subpapers,how are you?*