Monday, July 31, 2006
i didnt know.holding back of tears is such a difficult job.
*just when i needed you most.you wont there.*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/31/2006 10:59:00 PM
hah.
a tear almost rolled down today.
the moment when i see you.
the moment you came for a hug.
-boy.
can you still cry in front of me now?
can we?
our kbox?
i dont know.
im just waiting for you.
SL,SX.thanks for being there yesterday.
appreciated your presence yesterday!
love ya loads.
i love you guys.
mwahhs.
i cant keep it within me any longer.
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/31/2006 08:05:00 PM
in the end.
we toked.
although i dont know if thats counted as being open up
but i guess its getting better bah.
i find the familiarity.
i feel being found.
-boy,
thanks.
i dont know wat to say.
but i really simply love you.
i cant express myself now.
that we are toking like before again.
happy is the word bah.
i not sure if i will cry tml
or smile.
but thanks.
thanks for letting me know..
of my importance in your life bah.
the confidant.
the one you can open up to.
mwahs.
toking to you now,makes me being able to sleep so soundly tonight
already.
*boy&girl.lost&found.*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/31/2006 01:07:00 AM
Sunday, July 30, 2006
sob.sobs.sobed.
loss at what to do now.
hate myself crying whenever im lost.
lost.lost.lost.
when will i be found.?
somehow the tears cant stop flooding.
dont feel like talking much here.
but just feel like blogging.
haha.weird me,huh?
the hopes.
-boy.
im sorry.
but i still love you.
i think i.
peng you bi qing ren hai yao si xing ta di.
peng you bi qing ren gen dong dei qing ting.
im here.
always here.
-pure honesty forever and ever.
*waiting.
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/30/2006 11:28:00 PM
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
ok.
firstly im gona warn everyone about how
vuglar this post is going to be.so everyone
BEWARE!
WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE JUST SO INSENSITIVE.
JUST SO UNGENTLEMAN.
SO WHAT IF WE SCOLD FUCK YOU TO YOU?
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THE NUMBER OF TIMES
YOU SCOLD US WITH THAT.
WATCH OUR TONGUES?
FOR WHAT?
YOU SHOULD WATCH YOURS FIRST.
IN WHAT RIGHTS ARE YOU TO ASK US TO BE MORE SENSITIVE
I WILL CALL YOU MY GOD IF ONE DAY
YOU DONT INSULT ME OR
CRITICISE ME!
PLEASE LA.
IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO BE SENSITIVE TO YOU,
DONT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE SENSITIVE FIRST?
ASSHOLE.BASTARD.
WHATS WITH CALLING ME FAT AND STUFF?
SO THATS WHAT YOU CALL BEING SENSITIVE?
WHATS WITH CALLING US BITCHES?
THATS HOW YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUES?
SHIT YOU MAN!
GO AND DIE!
I HATE YOU
YOU SIMPLY SUCKS.
*fcuker.sucker.*
*being sensitive to the insensitive people-l0st*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/26/2006 01:15:00 AM
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
sigh-
i cant show the chinese words
so i deleted them away.
so sad.
but its actually the lyrics from
fanfan-yi ge xiang xia tian yi ge xiang qiu tian
as usual.another tiring day.
thanks wQ for the present that you gave me.
how sweet can you actually get?
was actually darn tired this morning, in school.
school start at 1pm, but i actually have to go sch at like 10?
sigh.just to do project.
but your hug definitely perks me up
and the music that we shared hearing today too.
seriously stop copying me,liking those songs that i like!
haha!
-boy
im glad that we tok too.
felt so much closer to you.
felt that you really love me.
*with pure honesty,it really spurrs alot of emotions,dont they.
thats why,mine spurred your emotions bah,
and how yours did to mine.MWAHHS!
DONT CRY AGAIN AH!
I WARN YOU FIRST!=))
.I THINK I. *
lets really find one day to cry together.
i really wana cry with you.
i really wana release my emotions with you.
i wana be there for you.
i wana you to be there for me.
i wana your shoulders.
i wana give mine to yours too.
my impulse.
your impulse.
we seems to have the same kind of impulse.
*I LOVE YOU*
sigh.HELP!
i have no idea how to work on my excel project?
anyone out there willing to save me?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
its just so stressful.
i cant cope anymore.
all the different kind of stress.
this feels so shitty.
I LOVE THE WOOSHING GIRLS.
*WOOSH*
*crying,searching for a way out*
the wish to be loved too///
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/25/2006 01:23:00 AM
Sunday, July 23, 2006
*Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for*
affected.
stressed.
feeling rather emo now.
but fret not.
im alright.
nothing has happen to me.
just that all the friends around me are feeling sad.
and im indirectly affected by them bah.
really dont like the feeling to see my friends being upset.
you stress,she stress,they stress, I STRESS.
you sad,she sad,they sad, I SAD.
sobs.
please stay happy,
i would love to see all of your smiles.
hear all of your contagious laughter.
im really missing those of yours.
sigh.
is being sad the trend now?
why is everyone having problems.?
it feels like im having problems when you all are too.
although it has nothing to do with me,but i feel troubled too.
i really wished to help you all to solve the problems.
but sometimes,i doubt of my own ability.
im sorry to those whom i can only lend my listening ear too.
im sorry to those whom i cant help much.
im sorry to those whom my ability only allows me to be there for you.
this kind of helpless feeling SUCKS.
i swear i hate this feeling.
-a feeling of helplessness and uselessness
i dont like to see people unhappy.
i dont like to be unhappy.
therefore i always laugh.
laugh at everything and anything.
so please be happy.=((
but no matter what,remember
LOST* will always be here.despite the limited abilities i have,
despite how troubled i am already,
i will still be willing to hear your problems.
not that i think im great or that im a superwoman
who thinks that she is powerful or that she is someone who definitely can solve your problems.
but im just someone who wish to be there for my friends.
despite rain or shine.
not that i think im a great friend or what.
but to me.being there for my friends are really important.
so to my friends,please do share if you need someone ok?
*dont be lost without direction in lyf like me*
To SL:
heyy! i really hoped that i manage to help a lil.
hope that i did not screw things up.
and that you will not be sad anymore.
please have more faith in yourself.
never ever doubt the love we have for u,dear.
in our eyes.you have been great.
for all you know we loves you.
esp me.
you have walk through my journey of life for so long that i truly lost count.
every single incident in my life,you know it so thorough.
my family problems and others.
but you never failed to pull me out of the saddness.
like what i say,how can i make it through without u.
to lose you is to lose everything.
so please dont leave me
as i wished that our friendship will truly last.
I LOVE YOU,DARLING!
*u are definitely my pillar of strength too*
To Stoney:
please dont think that you sucks ok.
you seriously dont.
you really rawks at my world.
im sorry.
i couldnt help much.and i definitely understand that
currently the time has not ripe for you to tell me whats happening
so im sorry that i could only lend u my listening ear
dui bu qi:((
but im glad that i did bring you to smile.bringing you out from your saddness.
thanks for looking for me when you felt shitty.
appreciated it truly.
i wished i could be there,crying with you.
all the way,stoney!
follow your heart and you will have an answer.
*i promised i will be here*
To JM:
dont worry ok? everything will turn out fine.
relax and wait ok.
LOST* will turn everything back to normal!
for she rocks!
hope i made you feel better.
i uds what you are going through.
the stressness.
dont worry.
*all the way,JM*
To TY:
dont be disheartened ok?
i believe with effort, you will reap what you sow.
*i believe you can definitely break all barriers*
*i just called to say i love you.i just called to say how much i care*
*lost and not yet being found*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/23/2006 07:41:00 PM
TO TY,SL,JM AND STONEY:And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember ...
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember ...
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
(*Thats what friends are for*)
JUST WANA SAY THATS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!
I LOVE YOU ALL!
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/23/2006 05:15:00 PM
Thursday, July 20, 2006
BACK!
in the end the trip to BANGKOK
was great!
had truckloads of fun there.
although i didnt really manage to shop much for myself,
as most of them were bought for my frens,
but i guessed that i really enjoyed bah.
except for the misses i had for my dog,in the night.
failed to sleep there totally.
so i ate.and ate.and still ate.
like a pig.
but its ok.as im already one.
HAHA
my flight touch down at 12am in Singapore on tuesday.
and i have to attend school at 9am the next.
can u imagine how tired was i.
without being able to sleep in bangkok.
nor do i haev the time to rest in Singapore.
but thank god.
i manage to force myself to wake up.
for the sake of my htm gfs.
for the misses i had for them.
the urge to meet them immediately.
the need to confide the journey to.
REALLY MISSES ALL MY FRIENDS BADLY.
sigh.
but back in school,
expected the projects.
but didnt realise there are SOOOOOOO DAMN MANY!
felt DAMN F*** up!
the tutors are mad.
they are crazy-for we are not robots.
we need to sleep.
im suffocating badly underneath.
you know what?
i have at least one project to submit per week can?
i need to sleep.
but i guess the wish could not be granted anymore.
for i have to wake up early.and sleep real late-
for the sake of the projects.
oh man!
cant wait for friday to come.
where i can sleep all i want.
all i could.
okok.i think there is a need for me to CHILL.
actually im in school now,
although i ended schoool long ago.
but doing project now=((
so i shall get back to my work.
hoping to end early,to get home to rest.
so wish me luck!
*searching for u in the lonely lost island*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/20/2006 01:10:00 PM
Sunday, July 16, 2006
sad.sad.and still sad.
crying.cry.cried.
really don't feel like going anywhere.
although,it should be a fun trip,
but i really couldnt bear to leave my dog alone here.
alone.
all alone.without me.
i could vividly imagine it crying.
seeking for its owner.
seeking for help.for his misses.
mum said.it trembled.
trembled at the foreign place.
it cried.
crying,hoping not to be left alone.
it barked.
seeking for attention.
announcing that he has no wish to be left there alone.
all alone.
I cried.upon my journey home.
NOW,im in the house,all alone.
loneliness filled my heart as i face the house with just four walls.
the echo of me crying fills the room.
how empty,can this house be?
without its barking,without him.
i know im silly.to cry for such things.
but dog is really man's best friend.
after spending such a long time with it,
its hard to be happy without it.
you can never imagine the house without it.and with it.
its now feeling lost and the lost place.just like how i am.
*lost.
but sigh.i odd to be happy.
for im going on a holiday.
SHOPPING.
bangkok here i come.with a tinge of saddness within me.
but i believe shopping will bring me away from the sad thoughts.
sigh.
THANK YOU,SX and SL.
you both really brought me out of the saddness ive got.
to know that you both will be standing there for me.
always there.
i felt the presence.i swear.
to sx:although you came to my house to get something,
but your presence here has definitely cheered my lil heart up.
to think the empty house got filled by you for a while.
=))
thanks!
*l0st in the foreign land*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/16/2006 01:41:00 AM
Thursday, July 13, 2006
heyy!
yes! there are definitely more to my birthday party!
there is a BIGGER bday party on SUNDAY-9th.
it has the MOST NUMBER OF PEOPLE invited!
a total of 500 thousand people,yeah.
sl,mac,xy,sx-u all know wat im toking abt,yea?
mac,sx,sl,xy,jm,ryu,ah hao,sanji,edwin,shengshiong,smalleyedBOY
they really made my day,
and i meant what i say!
i just dont uds why do i always manage to have the best bday
whenever im with THEM!
we played many games,and had sickening forfeit.
DAMN sickening,you know WHAAT?
when i didnt lose the game,and others did,they have to do forfeit.
but the forfeit pulled me down as well.
for eg,ryu kana it,and has to kiss someone,
and the name picked was----ME!
not only that!
sanji had to touch someone's nose for 10 secs and have to stare directly at each other!
and GUESS WHAT?
I WAS PICKED AGAIN! HOW NICE!
DAMN!
hah,but seriously it was fun.
thank god everyone was sporty enough.
before the bbq,went to buy some food with SL~
had a exaggerating time with her!
seriously she is a very kua zhang ger,can?!
but she made everything became wonderful-
for she was the organiser of the bbq.
THANKS! I LOVE YOU!
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE ELSE.
AND THE CHOCOLATE CAKE EVERY YEAR!
on MONDAY:
in the morning,i had to meet my intht grp for project meeting,
and at around 12pm,they said they were hungry and needed to eat,
so we decided to go off.and at the same time,someone called
and so i didnt really notice what was going on around me.
all i saw was tat many of my classmates were already in school.
so i hung up the phone and chatted with the rest.
i didnt even realised
my group members disappeared.
i was seriously wondering why did they come sch so early.
so i ask shan:
me:me:hey,why you all come school so early today?
shan:oh..cause shyuan said the teacher brought forward the lesson to 12!
me:oh icic!
but then i went to take a look at my watch and realise its already 12.15
something is wrong!
me: shan! but now 12.15 leah
then shan went to change the topic.
immediately after tat,the cake came,and they started singing.
HOW SWEET OF THEM!
but i swear,either im dumb or DUMB!
as i was eating my cake,i went to offer ty one slice,
but he rejected it.
he said that he shall wait for everyone to eat first before he eats.
wow.i was so impressed to see the generous side of him.
but then..
finally he got a slice of it,he started walking towards me sneakily.
i realised something was amiss.
so my instinct told me to run.
and i did.
and he chased!
omg!
he was trying to smash me with the cake.
luckily i was quick enough to hide in the toilet.
but he ran in too!
SIAO!
in the end i got..i got smashed!
how nice!
THANKS TY!
but of course,im a revengeful woman..so i went after him as well.
and yes-I MADE IT!
HAHA.and all of us got to go and wash of the cake on our hair.
SICKENING! but thanks.i really had fun.
the class bought me a $71 wallet can?
oh man.damn expensive.
but thank you!
thats all. anw really thanks hor?
thanks for every sinle and lil things.
love you guys alot alot.
mwahhs.
*off i go to my lonely lost land*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/13/2006 10:59:00 PM
sigh-
im feeling DAMN bored now.
so i decided to blog
or sl and xy will keep commenting that-
THE BLOG IS DEAD!
haha-but indeed i cant deny for it really is.
BUT its gna get alive now!
anyway i just wana say
thank you
to everyone who takes their time off to spend my bday with me.
thankYOU!
anyway i had a great bday this year.
i started celebrating on monday-7th.
went to kbox with my tp besties
-ls,bt,jw,hs,jr and ty.
actually,supposedly should have jh..
but so sad.he has IG meeting.so he no longer can come.
SIGH-
he was supposed to dedicate a song to me can?!
yeah.so ty said it would be weird if he was to be the only guy,
so there came the irritant-jr.
but YES.we had loads of FUN!
except for the fact that hs spoilt the surprise that
the rest wanted to give me.
they secretly went to buy the
GREEN EYED MONSTER CAKE for me!
awww - how sweet can this get?!
seriously,im not suppose to know about it.
the surprise actually suppose to go like this:
after eating at the food center...
they are suppose to give an excuse saying that they wn to go to the toilet
so as to buy the cake for me!
i wanted to go at the same time.
but,i didnt want to go to the market one,
so i told them to wait till we reach kbox then go!
so they have no choice but to agree,
if not they would have let the secret out of the bag.
then,when we were reaching kbox,
bt and ls suddenly disappeared.
hs said that they couldnt take it anymore so they hv to go to the toilet first.
when we reached kbox.
hs saw the fridge filled with bday cakes.
and she said:hey,here also got sell cakes leah!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
she gave it all out.
but nonetheless-i still felt really touched.
THANKS!
i LOVED that GREEN EYED MONSTER CAKE!
ok.i must say that ls and i are really BUDDIES man!
haha!
we love to sing songs that other people dont sing!
a very good example:bai jin nv lang
and we both love hao ai ta hao xiang ta!
haha
i LOVE her!
then the next day-8th,
went to celebrate with my secondary sch gfs!
not everyone was present!
how sad!
yeah really miss all of them alot.
and finally i get to catch up with them.
I MUST ANNOUNCE SOMETHING-
for the very first time in my lyf,
F is early and i was late!
HAHA
but she is definitely early for a reason.
she was there early to leave the cake at seoul garden
in order to give me a surprise.
how sweet of her.
BUT we had a DAMN great tym there too.
we were damn kiasu and ate like PIGS.
this xiaozhu damn poor thing!
tortured by me like siao!
i practically treated her like a maid,ordering her to do many things.
sorry xiaozhu.
ohyes,thanks zm for being present despite your flight
at the later of the day.
IM ALREADY MISSING YOU-
i had truckloads of fun that 2 days!
really enjoyed all your presence!
thankYOU.
*vanishing into thin air-l0st-*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/13/2006 10:51:00 PM
Friday, July 07, 2006
WQ!
please dont be so sad ok?
although i dont know what your problem is...
but i just wana let you know that..
no matter what im always here for you.!
i have my shoulders for you to rely on.
to cry on.
nobody has book it yet,unlike yours.
anyway..if u have anything that you wish to share,
feel free to look for me ok?
i'll definitely lend you my listening ears.
i will always be standing right here!
not going anywhere else!
just wana tell u that i love you!
im someone you can trust ok
*i think,sorie for being thickskin though*
HAHA
Jiayou,and you rocks my life.
i simply love u!
*l0st in the l0st world*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/07/2006 12:22:00 AM
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
my initial purpose of setting up a blog was to
keep a daily dairy of
my PRIVATE life-a life that i dun wna share.
by saving them as drafts and not posting them out,
so as to save the trouble to write it down on the book.
but this the sl insists that i should blog,
if not,whats the purpose of a blog.
indeed-there are many other ways to stop people
from intruding into your blog-intruding into your life.
so here i am-blogging. since this is my first post,
i am going to make it into a very emo one!
to sx,xy,sl-the important true friends in my life-
you all really are the GEMS in my life.
i cant express how much i treasure you all in my life
as i dont know about it too - its just too much.
i truly believe that we can have many friends in life,
but how many can find a true friend?
if you already have one,you should be glad,
as you found THE GEM. and im glad to annouce-
i found THREE of them!=)
thanks for always being there for me,
and always looking for me when you guys met up with problems.
despite rain or shine.
thanks so much for the trust you guys have in me.
three of you are once my best friends..
and dont worry,
as you all will always continue to be one!
you all enriched my life-with laughter,with tears
with many lessons learnt. without the three of you,
i guess i couldnt move on so much in my life,
with the many obstacles i have met.
without you all,
i wouldnt have the courage,i wouldnt have the guts,
i wouldnt have the love,i wouldnt be able to love.
THANKS FOR CHANGING MY LIFE TO A COLORFUL ONE!
i have always been wanting to say these to you guys,
btu somehow, the words are hard to be expressed.
but im really afraid that one day i wouldnt have the chance
to tell you all how much you all meant to me.
so,i'll telya now - for i dont want to regret too!
I LOVE YOU ALL TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE!
anyway,today we had class oral presentation!
ty did on the topic "regret"
and he wrote this poem himself which was damn meaningful.
it goes like this:
the heart is willing but the flesh is weak..
it doesnt really matter as i follow my heart and speak
i regret not knowing u earlier
i regret not understanding u more
i regret i couldnt join ur past
but i dun regret loving u at all
*sorry ty for not asking for you permission to post it*
SL,SX,XY-the last 4 lines are for you all!=)
YAY! TML IM GOING TO KBOX WITH MY GFS AND TWO IRRITANTS!
THEY ARE CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY WITH ME!
IM SO DAMN EXCITED!
I LOVE MY HTM GFS AND THE TWO IRRITANTS!
THEY RAWKS MY LIFE!
to ls:sorry for nt bringing your econs bk today!
and to all-bt,ls,hs,jw
thanks for caring in the end=)
to hs: dont be sad ok?no matter what,
you have me to move on with you.
take care! and for all you know,i love and care for you!
to JM(president of AMFC):
stop being so kua zhang ok!
AMFC rocks!
I LOVE YOU TO THE HIGHEST DEGREE!
*gone am i to my lost land*
--#LOSTonceHAD MARY--
7/05/2006 06:25:00 PM
